Did you watch the stars last night?

The typical urban dwellers or urbanites as we city dwellers are called these days live on clock work. Every activity in our daily life is time bound, be it the time to catch a bus / metro or to meet a deadline to submit a report or to meet clients and close a deal or to even eat a meal. Each day is a marathon starting from getting out of bed to the time we hit the sack. We run according to the clock or the clock runs us, whichever way you see it. I even know a gentleman, who while preparing for some tests (this was a long time ago in college) used to have a time-table with time breaks therein named “Go to toilet”! Now that was taking time management a bit too far, but exist it did.

A study conducted by a popular research firm came out with statistics which said almost 40% of the total population lives in cities and cities are going to account for 70% of new jobs created. Mind you the former statistic is a growing number, which means people in growing economies are migrating to cities from the rural areas. In short, within a decade, we will have half the world filled with time bound urban drones.

If you look at it logically, there is nothing wrong with it. Time wasted is time lost, you can’t earn it back like money. However, in today’s world of bench-marking, efficiency tracking, productivity consulting and max output in min time, we somehow lose track of the purpose of the whole exercise. That is when we need to ask our-self, whether what we are doing is actually what we want to do or need to do. Well, that is a larger topic to be discussed in a different blog! The topic we started out with was stars at night.

So, did you watch the stars last night? Let me re-frame it; when did you last watch the stars at night? If you took more than ten seconds to answer that question, it has been a hell of a long time since you took a holiday. In this cocoon we innovatively organize our-self into (that is another productivity jargon I learned this week J “ Innovatively organize” ), we sometimes miss out on the fact that our body  and mind needs some rest too. We get into that Mr.Miyagi rhythm of “Wax on! Wax off!” day in and day out that we forget that the fence is not going anywhere!

A change in rhythm, a different feel of place, air, water, food and people really help in shocking the body out of a monotone. This said shock being more relaxing and rejuvenating than other-wise. Such a break or vacation from the routine that we live, helps in sitting back and reflecting about our life too, which exercise may bring about a better perspective of things which in turn may make us more efficient or productive. That time which we give our-self is immeasurable in terms of value. It is the “Me” time, wherein the other burdens of life don’t encroach.  

Let us return to the stars. Being in a city, with all the city lights and pollution around, the question should as well be “Can you bloody see any stars at all in the night?”  So if you took more than ten seconds to answer the question in paragraph 4 above, then you better get packing for that vacation to recharge your body, mind and soul. Further, with the bounty of information about vacation spots on the net and plenty options of travel we don’t actually need to wait for Santa to come out to take a vacation.  It can be anytime during the year.

So be your own Santa, pack your bags and take off to some idyllic location where you can gaze at the stars at night in all their glory embracing you into their world, without the fear of the alarm the next morning!

Why is dark not so fair?

Skin complexion in the Indian context is a pretty clichéd topic. However, in spite of repeated uprising against this complexion dogma, the situation refuses to even budge towards correction. So strongly ingrained is our belief in the beauty of the fair skin.

I had this relative of mine, a universal aunt in an Indian community, tell me once that a lady who was dark complexioned was not pretty enough for me to get married to her. Well these universal aunties who try and ‘fix’ you with ladies of their choice are the ones who screw your life and happiness if you are naive enough to fall for their conniving schemes. Leaving the aunt alone for some time, let us discuss about beauty.

Beauty by definition is the quality of being pleasing, to the eyes, ears, nose or the other senses, depending on the perspective of the person gauging the beauty. There are also the concepts of inner beauty and outer beauty depending on whether or not you decide to peel a person like an onion and look into their heart, brain and kidneys to find out whether they are good people. Well for me, beauty is like light which enters your eyes, or the fragrance which enters your nostrils or the feel of an item on your skin. How I view something maybe entirely different from how you view it. What I find beautiful, you may not. In other words it is a feeling, which differs from person to person. Then there is the evolutionary sauce added to the whole situation. A hairstyle or a fashion trend which was perceived as beautiful half a century ago may not sound so chic today. Else, we would be still sporting dog collars, bell-bottoms and side-burns the size of houses!

Coming back to the topic of complexion on the Indian sub-continent, the fetish for fair complexion has grown to such an extent that it is on the brink of becoming a mental disorder. What else will make a multinational company like Unilever market its brand of beauty cream as capable of providing fairness within 8 weeks and also come up with a fair & lovely cream for men separately! This is just one of those thousands of products which are there in the market for the same purpose. Recently I saw a news article about a gentleman who filed a suit against a popular cine actor for promoting a similar brand of soap, because he spent a considerable portion of his monthly salary to ‘growing’ fair and didn’t grow fair even after a couple of years of ruthless scrubbing and lathering with the soap! One also finds matrimonial advertisements stating the bride / groom is ‘very fair’ and is looking for a spouse who is also fair!

Sometimes it makes me wonder as to how tall, dark and handsome lost its way in the middle of all this! I also wonder when they will start promoting tanning creams and not tan removal creams on the subcontinent. The unjustness of this fairness mania affects the fair complexioned too. I am tall by Indian standards and I don’t mind cutting my chin for the scar, but I can tell you it is one difficult job to get a tan. All I manage to do is burn my skin every time I try. Therefore, lucky are the people who are born dark!

As for the universal aunt who said dark is not pretty, I actually agree with her. Dark is not pretty, it is absolutely sexy and hot! 

You are already happy

Way back in school, we were taught about the basic necessities of life. They covered food, water, shelter and clothing. Then came education, sanitation, healthcare and the like and finally self-realization; that is if you get enough of the basic necessities and luxuries before you kick the bucket! Fulfillment of all these needs, be it basic or otherwise ensured a sense of satisfaction or happiness.

Defining Happiness is a cumbersome job as the word is very latitudinous and it sprouts from various sources. It can be biological like out of a kiss, a hug or physical intimacy. It can be psychological like from appreciation or success. It can be spiritual or philosophical like from leading a good life. Whatever way it is achieved, happiness is a feeling which one cannot forego, however detached one maybe.

If you note, we are in a continuous quest for happiness in everything we do daily. When we strive to accomplish the work that we set aside for the day, we work hard to complete it not to feel sad at the end of it all. To the contrary, we want to feel happy at the end of it. Same is the case when an athlete runs a race, an engineer works through days and nights to finish a high-rise, when a foodie goes in search of new places to eat out, when a kid buys new games for his play-station, when a music aficionado goes to a concert, when a wine connoisseur samples a vintage wine. You name the situation and the aim of all that is happiness in whatever form it maybe. The path to happiness may not always be easy and we may face umpteen difficulties until we achieve what we aim for and the resulting happiness. However, more the effort, sweeter the taste of happiness.

Well, did you note something common in all the instances I cited above? In all the above instances, the seeker is vying for happiness from outside. Now what if I say, we are all born happy and we are always in a state of happiness. That we just refuse to see how happy we are by getting ourselves entangled in the machinery of our respective lives. A thought to explore?

Let me explain with an example. How many of you have shut the wake up alarm in the morning to doze those 5 extra minutes? I bet all of you would have. Ever thought of what sweet, magical goodness those 5 minutes hold? Ever wondered why we crave for those 5 minutes of ultimate satisfaction and happiness? Do you know where you go during those 5 extra minutes? You don’t work, don’t listen to music, don’t play your favourite video game or sport, don’t watch your favourite rom-com or movie, don’t eat your favourite dish or sip on your favourite poison and yet you get total happiness if you go back to sleep for those 5 extra minutes. Doesn’t that mean you have to do absolutely nothing for making yourself happy? You just need to be with yourself or should I say within yourself!

So, stop searching for happiness because you are already happy within! Start creating happiness instead, with your bright wide smile, which I can’t see but am sure is beautiful! 

Should I lose a couple of kilos?

I overheard this nice lady tell her friend at the gym yesterday that she was 0.3 points overweight on the BMI index. Seriously woman!! 0.3 points? That left me wondering when losing weight, looking good and keeping in shape started being counted in fractions. I am definitely an advocate of physical exercise and try not to miss my gym sessions during the week. Physical exercise, in addition to regulating metabolism and blood circulation, keeping a check on weight and generally keeping immunity levels high also helps in de-stressing. It is like listening to music. The only thing that matters is the activity you are engrossed in, be it the volley of the tennis ball, the rhythm of your jog, the laps you are swimming or the reps you are doing with the weights. In addition to all this, it boosts your confidence in social places. One need not always aim for a six pack, unless one is a movie star or a ramp model where going topless in required. Otherwise, a well toned body is all that is necessary. Anybody who says that they don’t relish that second glance of admiration from people because they are in good shape are without doubt lying through their teeth!

However, pretty recently the need to maintain oneself in shape has crossed the boundary to an obsession with calorie counts, competing on phone apps, checking one’s BMI every other hour etcetera. There is a word for that in simple English, paranoia. With the onset of this paranoia sprouted the evolution of conventional modes of keeping fit. Calorie charts started crowding fridge doors so much that every time you approach the machine you are reminded how many calories you are going to stuff on your girth each time you pick something out from the fridge. Yoga that the forefathers developed as a discipline of physical, mental and spiritual balance gave way to new forms which border on the wacky...Power yoga, Rave Yoga, Doga, Aerial Yoga, Paddleboard Yoga and Karaoke Yoga to name a few. It is like cross-breeding a tiger with a giraffe because you want a strong cat which is 10 feet tall for a pet! In the recent past, I came across a chap in the locker room of the gym who looked like he had lost his kidneys in the town fair and was about to go into a cardiac arrest. When I asked him if he needed help, he said he forgot his bottle of protein supplements back home that day! Therefore, health consciousness has evolved from necessity to discipline to compulsion to fashion to craze.

My trainer, a gentle man of few words, once told me “Eat and drink anything you want, but don’t overdo anything, including exercise”. Those words have stuck with me since. He was explaining to me how some of the patrons buff up to look like shawarma meat towers but fall ill and go out of action with one little change in weather.

We have been carved out to experience everything that comes our way and our bodies are meant to endure a little bit of beating in the process. So we will not be doing ourself any favour by denying ourselves those experiences. Therefore live life to its fullest, eat, drink and make merry, however in the right doses. Keep your body healthy by giving it the right amount of exercise so that you look good and feel good.

As for the Body Mass Index scale, I fully agree with the guy who said “Dude, considering my weight, on the BMI scale, I need to be anywhere between 8 to 9 feet tall!”

You are the screen, not the movie

I bet there is no mortal on the face of this earth who wouldn’t have felt let down by circumstances at least once in their life. To the contrary, there must have been instances where they have felt extremely elated and content. It is in these circumstances that the majority of us tend to roil in the emotions that flow there from and refuse to accept the old adage “Well, that is part of life!” Instead, we either get bogged down by the negativity or revel in the positivity of the moment and let it consume us. Either way, we become the circumstance or even worse, the circumstance becomes us. Peek into our past and we will find umpteen number of those instances.

Look back at the time we failed to pass an academic test that we prepared for like no other, the time we broke up with somebody who we thought was the love of our life, our worst day at office in our career, the time somebody let us down so bad that we stopped trusting people in general.  I bet we can all share that sentiment wherein we feel so dejected with others, with ourselves and everything around. We fail to think straight and get consumed with sorrow or desperation, which only worsens the situation. Well, the stronger ones get right back up and move on. Do you wonder how the stronger ones do that? I will come right back to it a little later.

Now let us consider the situations wherein we felt extremely elated and on top of the world, like for example we get an unexpected break in our business, we get a salary hike far higher than expected, we inherit an estate from a dead aunt, we develop a winning streak in a sport. We feel so happy that we develop a new vigour and confidence in life which many a time surpasses all the negatives and even throws caution to the wind. We go on a roll and many a times become complacent which will at some point hence, prove to be our downfall. Well, the stronger ones accept the success but don’t get consumed by it. Do you wonder how the stronger ones do that? This is how:

They understand that they are the screen and not the movie! You may ask me what gobble-de-gook that is. Let me explain. When a movie is projected onto a big screen, does the movie screen change shape and size according to what happens in the movie? No. A bomb may explode in the movie, but the screen does not explode. Two lovers may be romancing in the movie, but the screen does not blush. A building maybe on fire in the movie, but the screen does not catch fire. Similarly, our body, our job, our relations, our successes, our failures are all part of the film called life. There is a deeper us within this body. The true us - our soul - the screen! Whatever happens in life, we feel the impact of the events. We feel the changes but ‘the true us’ does not change. The stronger ones understand this and hence assimilate success and failure in equal measure and move ahead in life and are content and peaceful.

So I conclude by leaving you to decide whether you want to continue to accept that you are the movie or to understand that you are the screen, resilient and strong, irrespective of what is screened on it!

Resurrection

This one should have been written around Easter; nevertheless, here goes. Resurrection as we know it is the concept of a living being coming back to life from death and the word hails from the Latin word Resurrectio. Sounds like a character from X-Men like Magneto or Pyro! However, it has a far deeper significance. The age old debate on the form of resurrection still continues whether it is in the field of theology or otherwise. Some believe in physical resurrection, which is the restoration of the human body from the dead and others believe in spiritual resurrection which is the movement of the spirit from one body to another. The resurrection of Christ as focused on in Christianity is wherein Christ sacrifices himself to cleanse the people of the world from their sins and gets resurrected in his own body. Resurrection finds a place in Buddhism, Judaism, Greek Mythology and Hinduism too.

There is also a different school of thought on medical resurrection, wherein a person returns to life after being declared clinically dead, which is termed as Lazarus Syndrome. Then there is the technological resurrection, where a person is preserved for ages in low temperatures using Cryogenics and is revived later. The concept has even found place on prime time TV with a TV series of the same name as also in movies.

However, since you and me are too busy dealing with our current life and may not have thought beyond dinner tonight, let alone what we are going to do in the after-life or what form our soul is going to take after we die; let us throw a different spin to the whole resurrection concept. Have you asked yourself about yourself in the recent past? By yourself, I mean the way you behave with other people, the way you tackle problems, the way you approach success and failure. We are built and moulded in a particular way over the years of our life based on the circumstances we grew up in, our education, family, friends and the situations we have faced while growing up. However, we get so stuck to that mould which we have grown into that we sometimes forget to observe, learn and improve. We always feel that the way we adopt is the best. The more we grow into this rigidity the more difficult it becomes to change. The down side of that is, Change is the only Constant! There will inevitably come a time in life wherein we have no option but to look at things from a perspective which is different from ours. It is at that time that our rigidity will be our downfall.

You may note that children find it far easier to adapt to changing circumstances than adults do. Why? Because they are ready to unlearn what they have learnt and understand things anew. They are ready to discover facets of themselves which they never knew about. In short they are ready to rediscover themselves or in short may I say, resurrect themselves. We may as well take a cue from them. There is no shame in learning from kids. They will teach you a whole new chapter or a couple of chapters in your book, mind you!

Therefore, I conclude by asking you to take time out for yourself and understand yourself better. Learn different ways of doing things. Learn whether there is a different you inside. You may do this by talking to friends and family, spending time with a coach, reading, travelling to far flung worlds. Do anything that enriches your understanding about self and rise like a phoenix out of your old ashes! Resurrect yourself!

Tolerance – the enigma

Tolerance is a trait which has been inculcated into living beings from the time life started to exist. Tolerance to the harsh environments in which they survive, tolerance to various plants and animals which they feed on, tolerance to other living beings who they live with.  That was a time when interdependence was a necessity and way of life. A man who was not part of a community or tribe was deemed dead because of his inability to survive alone in the wild. Hence, his ability to sponge up anything that was thrown at him by the other members of the tribe was acute. As time passed, the level of interdependence tapered. Large communities or tribes became smaller and more nuclear. Further, the advent of technology and the invention of machines, made him independent. As a by-product of this independence, his innate feelings of superiority or inferiority surfaced, hence dissipating the level of tolerance in him.

We can see this all around us. Just a glance through the headlines in the daily newspaper or half an hour on the news channel would give us enough instances of this intolerance. It comes in various shades, whether it is racial intolerance, religious intolerance, intolerance sprouting out of beliefs and principles and even dietary choices, age or time. A white cop shoots an unarmed black man, a terrorist outfit kills a hundred people in a university, a group of religious fanatics get together a few villagers and put up a show of their re-conversion to their ‘original’ religion, the occupants of a car beat a biker to death because his bike grazed their car in one of the busiest streets one will find, a Government in a province bans consumption of beef because their religious beliefs do not allow it, people decide to maroon their aged parents in a festival ground because they were ‘too old’, a member of parliament shoots a duo of siblings who took a few extra minutes to remove their truck from the thoroughfare to let his vehicle pass.

If we compare the first paragraph (early days) above with the second (current days), we will see a thin but prominent difference. In the first instance, we see that there was an effort to understand the circumstance before the tolerator tolerated or the tolerated imposed. Actually, one of the two is enough for the situation to end on a happy note. Even in statistics, tolerance means a measure of multi-collinearity which is a phenomenon in which two or more predictor variables are highly correlated, thus making one of the variables linearly predictable with a high level of accuracy. In simple words, a little bit of knowledge or effort on one side keeps the tolerance high and the friction minimal. These days, we don’t find that effort to understand or yield. Hence, the word tolerance has been currently replaced with the words “put up with”.

When people boast about what all they put up with and thus their high tolerance levels, they don’t understand that putting up with something is actually pushing something away, unwantedly or half-heartedly. It is not in the true sense of the word understanding and co-existing. In short, putting up with equals intolerance.

Hence, do think about this. Tolerance is not measured by the extent to which we can put up with something or somebody but by the extent of ease with which we can co-exist with something or somebody without having to put up with it or them. 

Unfake it

I love the Smirnoff advertisement with the mantra “Unfake It”! It is a topic which I have always pondered upon and the ad coaxed me to put a few words in writing. The one requisite which is primary to success is the attitude of being true to oneself. Direction, dedication and hard work are definitely required. One needs to put in a 100% into anything that one does, except when donating blood, of course. But first, one has to be true to oneself. Only then will all that effort be channelized in the right direction. Otherwise, we will inadvertently find ourselves navigating an open ocean at breakneck speed without having an inkling of where we are heading or we will end up imitating or following others. The latter will also not help us realize our full potential. We may be successful but not happy. Hence, it is necessary to understand and be true to ourselves.

I remember the first time I went to a party with my friends to the most happening place in town. This uber cool place happened to be the only hot place in town and the party was in the late afternoon as any gallivanting after sunset was out of bounds because I was in high school at that time.  Hence, the hours spent beyond the ‘curfew time’ were inversely proportional to the amount of pocket money received at the beginning of the succeeding month. In hindsight, the effort put in to look “cool” was preposterous to say the least. My shirt was wrinkle-free and even my pair of jeans was ironed ramrod straight. My shoes were polished to such a shine that one would need goggles to look at them. I took almost half an hour to gel and design my hair and I am not even a girl ;) Well my sentiments were shared by all my friends and the spick and span pack went to the most-happening-place only to ape the older, more experienced patrons to look cool and then returned home with a acute sense of having achieved something, mixed with a copious amount of awe and confusion. Well, that was ages ago and we were kids. My friends would agree with me if I said, that today, we might as well walk into said happening places in our night pajamas and flip flops for all that we care. This is because somewhere over the years, we learnt the fact that we are who we are and anyone who wants to accept us need accept us as we are. If they don’t fancy that, well nobody is to blame. They have got their lives and we have got ours.

Interestingly, there are people who are old enough who just do not get this little titbit ingrained into the 2 kg brain of theirs!  Have you met that person who gloats about the superbike worth a few tens of lakhs which his son crashed? Ask him whether his son survived the crash. Probably that will set him thinking what he values more. Have you seen that person waiting in a car at a traffic signal suddenly getting busy on the cell-phone because a beggar comes up near the window? All they need to do is look at the beggar and say they don’t have any change to dispense with. One doesn’t lose anything by saying a no at times and beggars are humans. They can understand what a No is. Have you seen celebrities with sunglasses glued to the face like they were born with it, acting as if nothing affects them when all the while they are scrutinizing how people around are looking at them? If only they removed those sunglasses and proffered a smile, they may win themselves more fans. Have you seen that boss who refuses to interact freely with his subordinates and throws that air of authority around? Somebody needs to tell him about the thin line of difference between demanding respect and commanding respect.

So if we think about it, just being our self and not putting up a show of who we are not, simplifies life to a great extent. We will be amazed at the results that will ensue too, whether it is in our personal or professional life. That is simply because we will be devoting our time and effort on the issue that actually needs attention. It will definitely boost our self confidence and help us see the larger picture.

So I conclude by saying Unfake It, throw away that mask. Let people see who you really are and enjoy every moment of life because the creator in his infinite wisdom made you unique!

Be proud of your accent

Now the above topic is an old cliché, which has been abused to no extent. However, yours truly finds it pretty amusing to use it in his blog again. Well the incidents that made me write on this topic are equally amusing. Once we were having a discussion on the latest gossip in Bollywood. I pronounce Bolly in Bollywood with a vertical O, like in Hole or Toll, because of my Mallu (Malayali / Keralite) roots, while the experts with a Doctorate in English in our midst pronounce it with a lateral ‘Auh’ like in Ball, hence Ballywood. So, the moment I said Bóllywood, my friend laughs her heart out and quips “You have such a Mallu accent”. Though the quip about Mallu accent is always offered in good humour, the undertone of ridicule and sarcasm therein is evident only if you are born in the land of the Ko-Ko-nut (Coconut) trees. Well, that was that. However, a couple of days later the same group meets up with the addition of a French guy who was visiting. The bloke was describing his happy weekend in Goa and goes “Hadz ziz wonderfool time. Lots of beerz on the bitch”. Though it took me a couple of seconds to realise that the guy intended to convey that he had a lot of beers on the beach, my English professori friend was crooning about how sexy his accent is. Sexy!! Really? The dork can’t put a sentence together, for chrissakes! So what makes his half baked English sexy while my more-so-fully-baked English (with the exception of the ignominious “O”) deserving of a belly-roll?

Is it the innate habit of patronising anything and everything that comes from across the border or a sense of inadequacy within? Either ways, the result is the same. Accent bashing! For a Gujarati - Coke is always Cock, for a person from Andhra or Telangana - Worst is Warasttt, for a Tamilian - Raw is Raa. But this difference in pronunciations lends its roots to the excess of spoken languages in India. There are 22 scheduled languages according to the Constitution. In addition there are other 1600 languages, some of which originated outside India. To add to the variety, each language is spoken in various dialects in the 29 different states in the country. We are one of the few people of the world who can boast of such diversity in the first place. Hence, a slight skew in pronunciation deserves a pardon! Even if you go global, for the Japanese – Free size is Furii Saizu, for the Americans – Sheikh is Sheeekh, for the Thai – friend is flend, for the Russians – alcohol is alkagol.

Coming back to the land of the Kokonut trees, the next time you decide to poke at me about my Oh-so-Mallu-accent, I will stuff your mouth with banana chibs and pack you off to my ungel in the gelf! Non-mallus, please read chibs = chips, ungel = uncle, gelf = gulf (predominantly Dubai but does not exclude the other Emirates, Bahrain, Qatar, Kuwait, Oman and some other places in the Gelf!

As to what I find sexy? Penelope Cruz swearing at Jack Sparrow at the top of her voice in Spanish in the last scene of that movie Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides ;)

High time we gave 'It' the respect it deserves

The inspiration for this thought came from various events. Events where people took offence to a living breathing being referred to with the pronoun “IT”. For example, in my earlier blog, I referred to the baby in the womb as It. A friend of mine referred to a doggy as It. Now why is IT denounced as a pronoun which should be used to refer only to things, objects, non-living and unimportant on the emotional scale (somehow not the material scale. Your diamond necklace? IT is so beautiful! Thank god that didn’t change)

Now why has the word IT been dropped a couple of notches on the respect scale? Let us go to the roots of this word. IT originated when the Old English pronoun Hit (meaning He in modern English) which was gender specific got merged with the proto-Germanic Het to produce a neuter pronoun It. Leaving all the etymological boutros boutros aside, I find the word IT the purest form of reference. It is gender neutral, it is devoid of discrimination of any kind being it caste, creed, origin, colour, size, shape or any other distinguishing parameter that pops in your mind. The English version “IT” is even more pronounced in its purity as compared to other languages like French where the speaker needs to distinguish between an il and an elle depending upon gender used in the context.

Now let us ask ourselves a few questions to demonstrate why IT is a hero. Would we refer to the Soul as a he or a she or worse still something, somebody or anybody? We won’t, because it is the purest form of existence. Old timers would refer to a higher power or the unknown with an IT not with a gender specific pronoun or a name. On a lighter note, ask a kid to narrate the line from the comic series Superman when the super hero is spotted. The line goes – It’s a bird...It’s a plane...It’s Superman! It is not - It’s a bird...It’s a plane...He’s Superman! We have not paid attention to that tiny little detail, have we? If we had, we would have fretted and fumed about what a grave insult we did to the suave superhero by referring to him with that despicable lowly “IT”.

The thought I want to incept into your minds is that every word has an intent and value. Just like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, the respect in a sentence lies on the tongue of the speaker. One can use the sweetest of adjectives but still spit venom at the same time. Therefore, “It” does not necessarily mean a non-living, non-feeling, lowly object. It can simply mean the purest, unprejudiced, non-discriminatory being.

So it is time we give IT the respect it deserves or else we will always blame IT for our prejudiced outlook until it is too late to realise that IT was not to be blamed! (Did I just use IT six times in that sentence?!!!)

As for the baby in the womb, I would let it enjoy those months of bliss before it is welcomed to our prejudiced world as a he or a she!

The Gastronomical Bond

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘FOOD’? I bet your thoughts will be far different from the thoughts of the Neanderthal man (may I simply call him Nandy). For Nandy, food was equivalent to survival as were water and shelter. Nandy never bothered to prepare a balsamic reduction to accompany his wild boar or gold roast his spatchcock. For him it was concise and crisp – hunt, kill (if not already dead), put over fire, eat! However, in today’s world of Nouvelle cuisine there is so much Master-chef mania in the air, that children may as well sous-vide their carrots and greens before having them. Whatever is the case, or the era of human evolution, food has always been a binding force, the glue which kept societies together.

Breaking bread is a phrase which is often used and which symbolizes the practice of sharing food to solemnise a meal. Though the name I believe lends its origin to the Christian Eucharist or the Lord’s Supper as it is more popularly referred to, the practice cuts across all religions, cultures and geographies. For example, the Japanese have a similar practice called the Kagami Mochi or the breaking of the Mochi, which refers to opening a bottle of Sake at a party or ceremony. Now that we have broken bread and broken open a bottle of drink, I guess the ice for the drink should preferably come from the term ‘Breaking the Ice’! The practice of offering a meal to a guest at one’s home symbolises acceptance of the guest into the household and the building of a deeper bond between the two people.

It goes without saying that the variety of cuisine across the globe is mind-boggling. However, on a closer look we will be amazed to see dishes in two distinct countries resemble each other as if the origins of the two were the same. A Falafel in the Middle-East is a distant cousin of the Parippuvada of South India. A Kati Roll of Kolkata in India is related to a Mexican Burrito or a Lebanese Shawarma. A Tibetan Momo is akin to a Chinese Wonton just like an Aegean Kakavia which is a Greek fish stew is another form of Bouillabaisse from Marseille. These are just the tip of a gastronomical iceberg!

So I conclude by asking you of a favour this time. Next time you sit down for a meal, remember another person on another continent is cherishing a meal which is very similar to yours and enjoy every morsel of the food on the plate without forking it down your throat or wasting any of it. Also, if you have any excess, do share some. It will help build a gastronomical bond with someone.  Because, only Nandy knew how difficult it was to get his meal. Now, we can’t go back and ask him. Can we? 

The unsevered Umbilical Cord

The first thing that a doctor does when a baby is born is to sever the umbilical cord which connects it to its mom for those months it is cocooned in her womb. It feeds it, nourishes it and takes out the depleted blood from it to return with fresh oxygenated blood and literally keeps it alive. Well, the event of birth ends the tenure of this funiculus umbilicalis as it is called in biological terms.

But there is a far stronger invisible umbilical cord which remains between mother and child long after they have been biologically separated. I would like to call it the Mommy Bond! In today’s world of virtual communities and internet forums, communication apps like Whatsapp and Twitter have overshadowed other inter-personal mediums like voice calls and physical meetings. They even come with a whole gamut of explicit emoticons depicting certain emotions which you would have never pasted on your face let alone use in an email or telephone call. In this scenario, it is pretty interesting to note that there exists an acute sense of telepathic perception between a mother and offspring (of any age, mind you!). She can do a David Blaine on you and read your mind as if you have put up a display board on your forehead with all your thoughts and emotions flashing on them. She is the ultimate lie detector and can pick up on even little changes in your moods, which ability would put even trained interrogators to shame! So don’t you dare try and pull a fast one on her.

It is this Mommy bond which makes her the primary “Go-To” person when we need anything to be accomplished from the folks. The mother, more often than not, also acts as the intermediary between the child and the father. You want something from papa, tell mama! She will do the dirty work! I am in no manner demeaning the role the father plays, but let us stick to Mommy in this write-up. Mommy is also the final line of defence. She would put herself between you and a raging bull if it came to that because her love for you is selfless, non-judgemental and beyond measure. She may irritate you to no means whether it be about your messy bedroom, wrong girl friend, open purse or your affinity for perpetual bachelor(spinster)hood. But behind that action is a deep sense of concern and affection, the very essence of the mommy bond. I guess this explains why the word Mother has even become generic with simple everyday exclamations like for example “Mummyyyyy!!”or “Holy Momma” or “Ammaa!”

Well, so next time you find yourself with some free time, go and spend some time with Mommy or pick up the phone and have a chat with her. I bet it will brighten her day as well as yours. Next time she irritates you to no end, hold yourself back from reacting with your own tantrums or feign indifference. You know what is worse? If there is nobody at the other end of the Mommy bond!  

The Ineludible Co-traveller

I bet almost all of the human populace travels at some point or other, unless of course they are already dead. Travel, the quintessential stress reliever, the best wind-down a person can give oneself as one is carried into a different world, away from the rigmarole of one’s mundane life. It is also a doorway to other people, varied cultures, delectable cuisines, interesting flora and fauna, sights and scenes which enrich ones knowledge as well as gives one a sense of fulfillment. In this context I take the liberty to quote Hilaire Belloc, a prolific writer – “We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.”

In course of such travel, it is but imminent that we meet other people who travel and in many cases embark on the same journey as we do. We call them co-travellers and they come in various shades.

There are the Perfect Ones – These offer you a hello and generally mind their own business. They would however engage in a good conversation if you are willing, without touching on personal aspects of your life.

There are the Encroachers – These will be in your face, enquiring or should I say interrogating you on yourself, your family, work, friends, your birthplace, what you had for breakfast and quite likely the colour of your under-garments too. They will also thwart any plan you devise to escape from the “conversation”, like for example, your sudden urge to go into a slumber.

There are the Coccoons – These will not talk to you, acknowledge you or even offer a hello. God save you if you offer them a hello, which will be immediately met with a curt nod of the head or a blank expression, which says “Do NOT enter my territorial waters”. Their expression would make Professor Hannibal Lecter look like a teddy bear!

There are the Caterers – These are mobile fast food trucks and usually move around with extended families and at the least a ton of food. Half of your refusals will go unheard and the other half you will not be able to mouth because you will have an idli or a dhokla stuffed into your mouth.

There are the Bookworms – These read, read and read as if their life depended on it. They will read on a train, on a flight, on the beach, on a drive, while eating, while drinking and even when on the John. They will read as if the act of putting the book down will be an act of personal slander of the highest order to the poor author and his entire clan.

Then there are the Dozers (my favourites!) – These will conk off the moment their mode of transportation falls into gear. They will sleep in the hotel, on the beach even while forking food into their mouth. They will sleep even if Zeus himself invited the wrath of the Gods on them!

Now if I have missed any category, it is purely unintentional and any such category of co-travellers will be suitably rewarded with a can of beer on my next journey with them!

I conclude by posing a question to you. The question is not which category of co-traveller you travelled with recently. The question is -  Which category of co-traveller are you?

Stop doing a Macaulay and believe in being equal

At the risk of contradicting myself, I would say Equality is a very common word but at the same time very deceptive. It is a word which reserves itself shelf-space in various forums being casual conversations, panel discussions, television debates, Government laws and regulations to name a few. However, the question we need to ask ourselves is why so much discussion on the subject and not so much evidence of it in real life? It is similar to the case where every one of us wants change but not all of us want to change. The simple reason is that not all of us believe in being equal. Considering the immense shades of equality, rather inequality in existence, let us be a bit lazy and take two of the most discussed – gender equality and caste equality.

We hear about the Womens’ Equality Act passed in the US or the Minorities Reservations Act in force in India. We also hear about the numerous walks and demonstrations which are held for the said purpose, well attended by people of distinct ages, caste, creed and gender shouting slogans on climate change, world peace, saving tigers (hello!!! Equality??) and legalization of certain restricted substances then happily returning to their respective abodes if not already intoxicated by those substances. TV anchors hold heated panel “discussions” with “eminent experts” in the field with predictions of apocalypse if the situation does not change. Governments proudly announce that 50% of their cabinets comprise of women/scheduled tribes or minorities and corporate houses do the same about their Boards. Well, I wonder why they don’t make similar announcements for male members or the unreserved class. Because that wouldn’t be news of any kind, would it?

Therefore, first we tell a group of people they are different because they are of a different gender or caste, push them to the floor and then make a few laws and reservations for their upliftment and protection. If only cabinets or Boards had equal representation from women without people making laws and announcements (cause women are as much if not more meticulous and thorough than men except probably when they are called upon to appreciate a bottle of Glenlivet or gloat over a supercharged V6 under the hood of a Jag F-Type!). If only the scheduled castes or tribes were not addressed so anymore, because none of these people come down from the forests in the hills to write their IIT entrance tests or dress in acacia leaves anymore. They are just like anybody else!

Until we realise and believe that distinctions of sex, caste, creed, colour are all superficial and we peel off all those superfluous layers until we reach that experience which in English we call the SOUL, which is all pervading, all encompassing, devoid of any flaw or distinction because it is the ONE, we will be stuck with the Macaulay principle. Well, I almost forgot Mr.Macaulay who sits in the title of this write-up. Lord Thomas Macaulay of the East India Company once gave a brilliant speech in the English parliament about how learned, tolerant and cultured the people of India were and why there needs to be created distinctions and rifts within the people to break their tolerance so as to rule over them. You understand where I am coming from?

I conclude by saying we need to stop thinking mankind and womankind and any-other-kind and believe in humankind, else humans will never surpass dogs as humans’ best friends and some people will always remain more equal than others!

You believe what the writer wants you to believe

When you read a book or an article or a column, have you ever wondered whether the thought processes which form in your brain are what the writer has conjured up? Well let me demonstrate:

Did you realise that most of the movies that made it to the Oscars this year revolve around one word “Expectation”. The expectation of a physicist to develop a theory to solve all problems (Theory of Everything), the expectation of a mathematician to build a machine to solve all mathematical problems (The Imitation Games), the expectation of a soldier to do all within his power to protect his comrades from harm (The American Sniper), the expectation of a once popular movie star to rise to fame through his drama production (Birdman). Aren’t all these movies bound by that single word “Expectation”? Yes?  Well I say No.

All these movies revolve around one word “Addiction”. The irrepressible addiction of a physicist towards his one indisputable theory (Theory of Everything), the uncontainable addiction of a mathematician to build a universal problem solving machine at the cost of resources which could have been put to better use during the World War (The Imitation Games), the unquenchable addiction of a soldier to go back to the battle-field at the cost of losing his family (The American Sniper), the addiction of a once popular megalomaniac movie star to re-establish himself (Birdman). See how a change in word play caused a shift in the undertone from positive to a shade of negative?

That my friends is the beauty of literature or the beauty of the mind or the strength of the pen. Let me illustrate with another example. I am sure the two most popular Mughal emperors that we believe to have existed were Jalaluddin Muhammed and Shahab uddin Muhammed. Surprise? Well you know them as Akbar the Great and Shahjahan the passionate respectively. Well yours truly would be amazed to also learn that the only Mughals who exhibited any sense of humanity and humility and good governance were Babur and Humayun. Everybody from Jahangir to Akbar to Shahjahan to Aurangzeb were shrewd, ruthless, megalomaniacs. Far from the whirlwind romance that we thought existed between Akbar and Jodha bai (Akbar never had a wife by that name...it was some other Bai, read: Rajput princess), the princess hated his guts and would have chewed his bones for dinner if she could. Same goes for Shahjahan who built the impeccably beautiful Taj Mahal for his one love Mumtaz, whom he loved a wee bit more than his other wives and numerous concubines. So much for the titles! Speaking of which, you may wonder what exotic titles Babur and Humayun used...well, the titles were Babur and Humayun, respectively. Now you know you believed what the historians made you believe.

Returning back from the rustic charm of the Mughal era to our drab current discussion on hand, I surmise by saying all movies which made it to the Oscars this time revolve around one word “Hope”...the hope of a physicist that he would create one theory.........................